OnewsO: We're Hiring For A New Head of Finance

Friday, May 30, 2025

We're Hiring For A New Head of Finance

The Weekly Bird

OUR CFO IS THE TOTAL PACKAGE: SMART, HANDSOME & LEGALLY BLIND: For Vaughn, blind trust isn't just a financial term anymore.

OUR CFO IS THE TOTAL PACKAGE: SMART, HANDSOME & LEGALLY BLIND: For Vaughn, blind trust isn't just a financial term anymore.

As birddogs new CFO, Vaughn must provide weekly updates, often noting how we're "in the black." However, it's become unclear if he's referencing our financial performance or his poor eyesight.

In addition to having astigmatism in both eyes, Vaughn claims he also suffers from "high output disease." That's just Vaughn's way of saying that he needs to take frequent bathroom breaks throughout the day.

Vaughn is a huge hockey guy and is a die-hard Florida Panthers fan. Unfortunately, he has a really hard time watching because of his turd eyes.

We all assumed Vaughn was a diligent worker because he's constantly glued to his screen. It was later revealed his staring habits were attributed to his poor vision.

GET THESE BATHING SUITS ALL BACK IN STOCK

Trim the hedges! Wash the crack!

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