OnewsO: birddogs Finances Are “In The Black”

Friday, May 23, 2025

birddogs Finances Are “In The Black”

The Weekly Bird

OUR CFO IS THE TOTAL PACKAGE: SMART, HANDSOME & LEGALLY BLIND: For Vaughn, blind trust isn't just a financial term anymore.

As birddogs new CFO, Vaughn must provide weekly updates, often noting how we're "in the black." However, it's become unclear if he's referencing our financial performance or his poor eyesight.

In addition to having astigmatism in both eyes, Vaughn claims he also suffers from "high output disease." That's just Vaughn's way of saying that he needs to take frequent bathroom breaks throughout the day.

Vaughn is a huge hockey guy and is a die-hard Florida Panthers fan. Unfortunately, he has a really hard time watching because of his turd eyes.

We all assumed Vaughn was a diligent worker because he's constantly glued to his screen. It was later revealed his staring habits were attributed to his poor vision.

Vaughn is proof you don't need to see to be a CFO, you just have to dress the part. birddog Flex 50-Pocket pants are back in stock to keep you lookin' your best all summer.

Our pant's FlexWeave fabric moves with your body, giving you a flattering, wrinkle free fit no matter what. But if you know us, you know these won't be in stock for long...

GET THESE BATHING SUITS ALL BACK IN STOCK

Trim the hedges! Wash the crack!

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birddogs 15 W 18th Street New York, NY 10011

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